Hello Changes!

In my 18 years of existence in this “not-so-good” society, there’s already many changes and will continually change as the time goes by. We will all acquire changes as we grow up and it’s natural, it’s the effect of the environment we’re living and it’s the voice that society wants us to adopt from all the trends especially the effects of the social media nowadays. Social media are already dominating the system in our lives. Admit it, you don’t have a day without opening Facebook, right? That’s change! We are gradually changing because society wants us to adopt to what is trending. Good and bad things will happen and it will cause changes. Even growing up is a ‘change’. Physically, I’m growing from the little “Joanna” to the “Joanna” you are talking right now. I am the product of change in my past and will remain as a product for the future. What are the things that change me while growing up? Will it help me in the near future? Will it help me to become a good citizen in the society?

 

There’s already many changes as I grow up. As a student before, I’m not cooperating in any events, I’m just “go with the flow” as long as I pass the subject but, now, I’m hugging change. I realized that I should study hard and be a responsible student. I know all these things I’m doing is for my own good and I know even if it’s hard, I will do it and I won’t give up because I have goals to achieve and attain. I want to be successful so that someday I can say to myself that all the hard works I go through, it’s all worth it.

 

Life without problem is boring. No pain and no drama. I also have problems in life, we all do. There was this time when I feel that all the problems were all coming from me, that I want to give up and rest for a while, but then I thought that the problems were infinite, there’s no end as long as you won’t resolve it. Problems won’t harm us as long as we know how to handle it and how to resolve it.

Problems have its own solutions. God gave us problems because He knows that we can do it. Problems will help us to face the everyday challenge that life throws us. Instead of avoiding my problems, I learned how to face it because it will help me to become a stronger and better person in the future. As I’m growing, my mind became mature enough to handle things on my own. I already quit the things I did in the past not only because it’s wrong, but also I learned a lesson from it. It leads me to a lesson that “what you do to others, will go back to you.” The things we do in our life reflects in our character.

 

As a student, a daughter and a friend, I already learned many things through my journey and I know many more will come. Life is ‘a give and take’ process. We commit mistakes, we forgive, repent and reconcile. Life is a series of forgiveness. Don’t hold grudges to the people you hate, psychologically speaking, it will just harm you mentally. Learn how to forgive and just forget. Life will go on with or without them. We may have lost our path while we take our journey, don’t give up because you can always straighten your path, just do the right thing. PAK GANERN!

 

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June 28th: Letting Go

Letting Go:

Letting go of someone who you really love is not that easy, you need to deal with the pain in order to be happy again. It’s like not going to your favorite place again. You don’t need to go back to that place again because the memories will kill you and you need to forget about it and start finding another one again where you are really suitable for. At first, it’s hard, but in some cases, you need to, for you to move on and start again. You’re a human too, you deserve to be happy.

I let him go not because I don’t love him anymore. I let him go because it’s the best for the both us. We’re too young to know about forever as what One Direction says, but seriously, We’re too young for this thing called “Love”. Love is such a big word. It composes of many “sub-things”. Love is about sacrificing. Love is a responsibility. Love takes your freedom to be happy on your own or to do things on your own. Yes, maybe it’s nice to have someone to be there for you, but isn’t it even nicer if you will start on your self?  Start to love yourself first before others, because sometimes life is a trickster. Life will deceive you on some ways and you need to deal it alone. You need to stand alone for your own sake. Don’t be stuck with a person who make you feel worthless. That’s why many people today stays being single because no one can hurt them. If you are already tired in your relationship, if you are already hurting and you don’t feel love anymore or maybe you realize that you still have many plans to do in your life, talk to him/her. And whatever decision you made, do it without any regrets. Let him/her go if it needs to. True love never fails, and it fails, it’s not true love. And one more thing, true love always waits.

 

June 25th, 2016

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I am slowly learning that some people are not good for me, no matter how much I love them. I realized that I deserve better, someone who is kind and gentle because my soul is getting tired. I am beginning to rip. I want someone to save me. But I learned from time and time again that human beings cannot be saved, fixed or grown by any other people — they can only be loved.

Can you love me enough for me to be fixed and to be saved? I am dangerous, I was like a bomb ready to explode any minute. I’m a paradox. I think positively but I want the negative to happen. I know that I have my own worth because I am my own diamond. Yet myself contradicts to myself. I want someone to be good enough for me. Someone who is really destined for me because I don’t want to go into a wrong relationship anymore. Therefore, I learned that waiting may be hard sometimes, but in the end it’s all worth it. I will glow again like I am the brightest star in the sky.

FINAAL